Reunited and it feels so good!

We have finally been reunited with our pets after a long six months! The boys talked about them all the time and prayed for them at night before bed. Thankfully they are doing well and were very happy to see us.

Side note: a picture of our car on the way down. It was packed FULL. When we had to slow down quickly or hit a bump, things often would fall. We made it a game and whenever something hit them they would yell winner! At one point Kenan said his neck hurt. I looked back at him to ask why and realized my answer. The floor rug had slid down and was resting on his back. Oops. :)

                                                  Just a few minutes outside of town

You can't see much here but you can get the sense of the excitement (on behalf of all) to be reunited.

Purr hadn't forgotten them either. I held him for a minute and he sat contently. As soon as I handed him to D he went straight for the ear like always.

                            He proceeded to love all the boys with ear kisses...and got some in return.

Tennyson (the Malian dog) has really grown. Pics to come soon. There have been moments I have already wanted to get rid of him (like when he peed on my new rug within 5 minutes of putting it down). It is hard to resist, though, when he goes out to play in the rain with the boys. Not much sweeter than that. Though I'm not an overwhelming animal person I have been smitten by them all. So my house will be a little dirtier than I like but my kids will enjoy themselves. I can live with that.

Traveling

The day we left the boys got their last dose of their most favorite thing in the US- Taco Bell.  They ate Taco Bell so much while home I felt like I just had to document their last. :)

In the airport. They always travel in these jumpsuits. Rarely do they wear them anywhere else but they just look so cute in them.

                                      Riding the moving walkways. This provided hours of fun.

                                          Watching the ipod during our 5 hr layover in Brussels.

We had to ride a bus to the International terminal. Silas chose this seat and it just looked so cute because it was so high. I don't know if you can fully tell how high off the ground he is.

This is in the guest house. There were lots and lots of medicines that were in boxes that had come through customs. Brett paid the boys 25 cents for each box they did. They were 20 of one medicine so we told them they could earn up to $5. They were so excited. We overheard them talking as they were working. Kenan said, "We can keep opening boxes and working and working. Then we will get so much money and mommy and daddy will be poor. Then it will be like we are the parents and they are the kids." Thankfully they didn't work us out of our parenting job, but they did make $2 each.

Heading Out

      "You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance."  Ps 68: 9

In a few short hours we fly back to Mali. I am excited to go home (and be done with packing!).

Psalm 68:9 sums up this furlough for me. We were weary, even more than I knew or allowed myself to believe, but God has poured out his blessings and refreshment on us.

It's like the start of fall when you walk outside and see the bright blue skies and feel the crispness in the air. That feeling you get of perfection and that all is right in the world because it is just SO nice, that's how it's been for us. On those days where the air is just perfect, like yesterday here in Raleigh, it is as though the Lord is pouring forth his love for me and I just want to burst with thankfulness. That has been this time in the States.

One of the first days we were here there was a women's meeting and the women gathered around me and prayed. And not just little prayers- they PRAYED with tears and belief that God would work. Several times throughout our time people have gathered around us to pray. Sunday night the church gathered around us and prayed once again. As I sat there, humbled again to be loved in such a way that a group would put their hands on us and pray, I thought about how fitting it was as this time has been bathed in prayer from beginning to end. The church has taken our family in, prayed for us and loved us. Not just on the basic, easy level, but in the deep, ugly parts as well. They truly have been the hands and feet of God to us. I cannot put into words how thankful and blessed we feel to have been in this church family.

We have been loved on by so many people so many times. To all who have reached out to us, thank you. Thank you. For those whose kids have been friends to my children, thank you. For those who have taught them in Sunday School and Children's church, thank you. To those who have babysat, provided meals, hugs and laughs, thank you. Thank you.

We came to the US terribly weary but the Lord has poured out his abundant showers on us again and again. We are refreshed as we head back. Praise be to the Lord!

Happy 4th Birthday Silas!

My baby, though he doesn't let me call him that, has turned four. Wow.

He is a joy. He has spunk and feels whatever emotion he is currently feeling with all of his being. The other night the church had a minute-to-win-it game night for the kids. Silas lost his first game and proceeded to cry and show his disappointment to everyone. The next game he won with the help of his brothers and he proudly danced around with joy exclaiming that he had beat a "dult"! (It was the vaseline on the nose game where you pick up cotton balls. He had 5 cotton balls to the adult's ten.) When our family didn't win the trophy he once again was in the depths of despair. We might not always know what he is saying but we always know what he is feeling. :) He loves his brothers and always wants to be doing what they are doing and I must say he keeps up really well. I am so thankful for him. He is so sweet, loves to cuddle, and his kisses are precious. I LOVE this boy!!

Silas had a range of ideas for his party. Police, ninja, skylanders, or anything else he was playing with that day. We settled on ninjas. Here's the green ninja cake.

Since his birthday was just three days before our departure we decided to keep this low key and ended up at the park. Without thinking to ask him, I picked the park. The morning of he came up to me and said, "It's my birthday, not yours. Why I not get to choose? I choose the park!" There was only one other family coming and there were no reservations so we switched the plans about 30 minutes before and had his party at Pullen Park.

I love how the boys rally around whichever brother is having the birthday at the time. They get so excited for them.

 Opening Kenan's gift for him which was a picture he had drawn that morning.

                                         His response to his brother's love. A big hug for him.

Dawson drew a story that he had to explain. It had a Part 1 and Part 2. He also gave him some money from his piggy bank. It is sweet to see how they show their love to their brother.

My mom is the game queen. Always comes up with something fun. This was kicking/hitting Styrofoam to break it in half like ninjas do with wood.

                                              This is just such a Dawson face. I love this boy.

And that's my Kenan. Always into whatever we are doing (here he is being a ninja) but off in his own world. And yes, I love this boy too! :)

       The MacLean and Seaman kids (with people taking wedding photos in the background).

The party on the train. The 4 boys are all crammed into one row because Nate wanted to sit with D but both D and K really wanted to sit with the birthday boy too so they chose to just be really close for the ride.

Saying goodbye to Mrs. Becky whom Silas loves. Becky helped us so much over the last few months. The boys love her and she is simply great. A true blessing!

We had a great time celebrating the wonderful, energetic, and loving Silas!! Can't say it enough- I LOVE my Silas!!! SO thankful to the Lord for the precious gift of him!

So like I was saying...

In case you were wondering about examples of how the last week often isn't that great, here's one. This is the evening after I wrote my blog post.

We were cooking dinner-pancakes and eggs. My mom was in the kitchen and the kids and I were in the dining room designing pancakes on the griddle. All of the sudden we heard lots of rustling of leaves and the snapping of roots. Since there was no storm, or even wind, it was a little hard to understand. I saw leaves coming toward the windows (that are under the tree at the front of the house) and my mom saw the leaves and limbs falling in the back of the house as she looked out the kitchen window.

Praise the Lord that the tree fell at an angle and not straight down as we would have been in its path. (Not to mention all my bags for leaving Tuesday were in the living room, the front room of the house, and would most likely have been destroyed.) The second level of the house blunted the damage as the tree was not able to fall on the first level. A (big) limb did go into the attic and the ceiling is slightly separated from the wall in the hallway. There is also some roof damage as well (not surprisingly). But overall, better than it could have been.

The tree changed our plans to say the least. My aunt and cousin and his family were supposed to come the next day. Didn't happen. I didn't say goodbye to my aunt when I saw her last. It was a "see you in a week" goodbye in the Target parking deck, not a "see you in a year or two, thanks for all you've done for us" goodbye that it should have been. I didn't get to meet my cousin's new baby. Now she'll be a year or two before we meet.

I have to go back to what I wrote. One more time doesn't change the past and the memories that have been made. My family knows I love them and I know they love me and we'll have to leave it at that.

People keep asking me if I feel safe to go back to Mali. The Lord always reminds me as we head back that safety is not in location but in His hands. We think the US is "safer" but this is where we've hit a bear and totaled the car, trees fall on your house, and cars come within two feet of hitting your son (not to mention you can go to a movie, grocery store, or church and someone can start shooting at you). I'm ready to head back to Mali where it is safe! :)

I hate the last week

I hate the last week before we go back to Mali. It is crammed with so many things- cramming thoughts in my head of what I need to do, people I need to see, and cramming stuff in bags to take back. There's no way around it, I suppose, so I've learned (and am still learning) how to navigate myself as calmly and peacefully as possible.

But as evidence by the fact I wrote this blog post in my head in the middle of the night, it doesn't always work. My mind is on overdrive whether I like it or not.

What is interesting to me in this week is the conflict of emotions and thoughts I feel. I am ready to go back to our home, to my bed, my things, my animals, my friends. I've been ready for a long time. Our hearts are there but the week before, my feet start dragging on the floor. It's like the end of a vacation and the dread of returning back to reality, even if reality isn't that bad.

I want to be home. I love what we do. I love being there. But being there means we aren't here. And it is hard to say goodbye. We leave comforts, a language we understand, a culture we understand, drive through restaurants, parks, the American dream, and of course, family and friends. We go back to a culture we don't understand, languages we barely understand, no parks, no restaurants, no grocery stores (in our town), no conveniences like we have here.

I want to go back to the friends who have become family to us, whether that being Malian or ex-pats. This time more than ever I will be saying goodbye to friends I have made or rekindled. As the years have gone on, I've felt less connected to friends in the States since time and space change things. However, there have been true connections with people who just get it, get our life, get our struggles and it has been incredibly refreshing. They will be hard to leave. The boys have made friends here as well. Though they look forward to seeing their friends in Mali, they will miss the friends they have made here.

I also struggle with my lasts. Making sure I see people for the last time but then feeling overwhelmed and silently hoping that I don't even get to say goodbye at all. No matter how long we are in the States, people often wait until the last week or so to want to get together. So we cram in visits and meals and whatever to catch up. I internally want my boys to have great lasts, one more time with this person, or one more chance to do this or that so then maybe they will feel complete and happy when going back. I am reminded, though, that lasts often aren't that great and one more visit with a person won't make them any more special or the memories any sweeter. I need to be content in what has taken place and have peace to move forward.

I often fight against my inner mommy feelings of guilt that I take my children from here to there and shake their sense of normalcy on a regular basis. I feel guilty that they don't have a children's program at a church to go to or even many kids their age, if at all in Mali. Yet, I listen to their words and am assured that these anxious thoughts are only that-thoughts in my head, not reality. They long to go HOME, to their animals and their friends. They want their good Malian bread and Jeremie's cooking (ha!). They want their toys and to be in their beds with the bed nets that D says makes him feel safe. I asked K where he would live if he could live anywhere and he said, "Africa!" He has also decided this week that when he grows up he wants to work in a hospital in Africa because "there are a lot of sick people and not many doctors." He then said, "Maybe I could even build a hospital." D was for this as long as he could be a vet and in Africa. :) So whatever my fears or concerns are, they certainly aren't legitimate. My boys are loving where they are and see nothing wrong with the way their life is going at present. It's not my normal, but it is theirs and that brings them comfort.

In a few days this week will be over as well our time at home in the US. We will take all our bags, board the plane and go to our other home where time moves slower, everything and everyone is covered in dirt, inconvenience is a part of life and our hearts are full, yet missing the home we've left behind. And though my mind struggles with all these conflicting feelings, this is the life I love. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

A day at Chapel Hill

 To my mom's chagrin, beautiful blue skies feel me with a warmth of happiness as they remind me of the wonderful times at UNC- Chapel Hill. Though I remained a Duke while at Carolina as a student, my blood now runs light blue. I get excited just to be near the campus. I almost want to tear up when I hear the fight song. So every time we are in the US we have to make a trip to UNC with the kids. It only took us 5 1/2 months to get there this time! We ended up going on a Saturday for Tarheel town before the football game. D and Brett went to the game.

On the way. They were so excited. Now if you remember two years ago, this is a vast improvement. Kenan had been brainwashed encouraged to be a Duke fan. Honestly, that's fine but not when your name is Kenan and we are going to take pictures in front of Kenan Stadium. Kenan showed us what he really thought as he threw up on the only shirt we could get him to wear that slightly supported UNC. (It was green eggs and ham but the ham was blue). He had stayed a Duke fan over the years but for some reason, something changed that day (maybe it has something to do with D always telling him he can't be a MacLean if he doesn't cheer for UNC) and he is all for Carolina now. So we ALL got to enjoy UNC.

 All three wanted to wear the hat so we had to keep passing it around. This was K's turn.

                    At the ram which also has udders. I don't fully understand that. Cute picture opp regardless.

                                                                 Daddy had to join in

                                                   At the old well trying to get a drink of water.

                                                                       A family picture!

Thrilled to meet Ramses. When we had talked about going to Chapel Hill before, the boys wanted to see Ramses. Since we were going to go on a random day this was impossible so it worked out great that it was game day. D and K loved meeting him. S hid behind me.

Talk about propaganda to get your kids to be Carolina fans. Jump castles, free food, face painting! Who cares about the football game!
                                       

 
Before the game the players walk from the Old Well to the Stadium. We lined up to shake their hands (though Dawson let us know afterwards that we weren't SHAKING their hands but rather hitting them. Oh that boy keeps us on our toes!) Silas had been acting tired and didn't even play on the jump castles. I thought he would hate the parade as the band was there and it would be loud. He hates loud noises. For some reason, though, he got into this. He stuck his hand out to touch each player.

                                                         Ready to "shake" the guys' hands.

To escape the heat, we went into the bookstore. We got some new shirts but it was so crowded that Brett and the boys hung out upstairs in the student book section. They decided to play hide and seek. As Brett says, he didn't feel bad to do it at the UNC bookstore because they see a lot worse in a college bookstore than little boys playing hide and seek! :) This was Kenan's spot. He stayed there forever. The other two finally had to give up because they couldn't find him.

Second game all the boys tried Kenan's trick. D was not happy that I found him or that I took a picture. He wants to use that spot again if we go back. We assured him it would be several years so it's ok. But if you ever end up playing hide and seek with him at the UNC bookstore, don't tell him you know his hiding spot. :)

                         Again, D still showing his disapproval. Yet what a fun memory to have!

Meeting the real Ramses. The former one died last year so this one was only 6 months. He wasn't quite as happy to be on display but the boys loved him. We had to go back through the line a second time so they could touch him again.

And then the face painting.

Brett and D went to the game. It was so hot! They only made it to almost half time. It was already 40-0 so they figured it was safe to leave! :)

                                                              They had great seats!

The younger two and I went to a children's museum while they were at the game. It was fun. The highlight was that we got to ride in a taxi. They weren't into walking and I couldn't get them up to north campus. The buses weren't running as usual so I didn't know what I was going to do. Then a taxi pulled up to drop someone off. We jumped in. The front seats have tvs in the headrest. The boys loved it. It was only a 5 minute ride but they loved it. When we reconnected with Brett, Silas began telling them about how we'd be in a car and watched a man close to sharks and he didn't get eaten. Brett thought he was making it up at first. :) Here he thought they would be sad that they didn't go to the game but they were just as excited to tell them about the fun we had had! Yeah for a taxi ride! :)