Life is Good

This post kind of goes along with the last one but I felt like it just had to be its own. I have been thinking lately how blessed we are here. Life is good. Though we’ve been through some challenges here and would say we have walked through the hardest two years of our lives here in Mali, we are doing well. I feel like the verse in 2 Corinthians 4, We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." Or as it is written in the Message, "We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. “ Praise be to God. And though I feel slightly uneasy to say we are doing well for fear what might come next, I am at the same time glad to say it. We are settled in here as a family and content. Dawson goes to school and seems to enjoy it. Though he was giving me a hard time getting ready and into the car in the mornings, he now is better (probably because I found out Brett told him I would send him in a cab with Jeremie if he didn’t shape up). J Kenan does well playing at home and Silas of course is happy with seeing his favorite friend each day. I enjoy working at the hospital in the mornings. It’s the perfect amount of time. I can “do something” with my mind in the mornings but still have time for the boys each day. Life is good. The boys sleep well most nights. We have power most nights. We are good. And though we don’t have a dryer, I now have a room to hang up clothes. We have a bathtub now! No dishwasher or vacuum , but I have Jeremie who helps around the house and washes dishes and cleans…and cooks. What a guy! We don’t live in a neighborhood with all our friends nearby, but we do have sweet friends here. We are so blessed to have the Diarras around. Alison is a dear friend to me and Dawson loves Hannah. She is a blessing to have at school so she can help him understand because as Dawson says, “she can speak like us and them.” J We have a pool which is awesome. It provides a place to go and relax. We have an unfinished hospital where the boys love to play. Sure it isn’t a playground, but they couldn’t think it was more fun. They love playing up there. It’s actually hard for me to get them to go to the pool instead. They love playing at daddy’s work. We have three wonderful boys who play together. Even Silas is starting to play with them. It’s sweet. Life is good. I am so thankful. I’ve always known this is where we were to be. I’ve always had that peace. I just feel like now we are truly content and happy. I feel like we’ve been content where we are for awhile but the happiness is a relatively newer thing, if that makes sense. As I look back on the past two years, I would say most of our problems haven’t had to do with Mali or Malians, but they just get caught in the crossfire. But we do enjoy them now. Sure it is hot, but we have A/C in our bedrooms for the night to help us sleep. What a blessing. And though our family and friends are far away, we have email and facebook and skype. I actually haven’t physically met my niece or my two cousins’ kids who were born right around the time of Silas, yet I feel like I know them well. When family has been sick, even though I haven’t been able to be there, I’ve been able to talk to them. I will always remember the times I got to talk to my grandfather while here and telling him that I would see him when I got back to the States (and praise the Lord, we arrived just a couple weeks before he passed away). So we can be with family even if we aren’t really with them. Missionaries today have it so easy compared to the past. Only getting letters from home every few months- and as people say whatever was in the letter wasn’t even relevant by the time the family got the letter. Often no electricity. Definitely no AC. No real communication with family and what was going on in America. We are so blessed. So blessed. This is easy. We don’t miss much of the things in America. Sure there’s no Pizza Hut or Papa Johns- but the homemade pizza is pretty good. No Taco Bell, but we have hard taco shells now and soft ones when they are made. No Breyers but homemade ice cream hits the spot. But of course, they are things that can’t be replaced. Like fall. I miss this time of year. Going to football games (which I only did a few times when I had the chance in college, but now really miss that), pumpkin patches, trick-or treating, the leaves changing colors. And of course, all these things with family and friends as that is what makes them special. But still, we are grateful for where we are and the memories of all those things back home.

I feel like part of this whole contentment/happiness thing comes from me just being more ok with who I am. I almost feel like I’ve had a coming of age in the last year or so. You’d think this would have happened before now, or at least I thought I’d know who I was by now, but I guess I’m slow. I’ve just been learning more of who I am, who the Lord has created me to be, and learning to be content with that. I am 28. I am a wife. I have three boys. I live in Mali. I’m a nurse practitioner. I’m married to a pediatrician who is trying to open a peds hospital for an area of over 120,000 people, for which he is the only pediatrician. These things shape me and cause certain things to proceed…

I am a mother. Of boys. I am learning that this is my highest and most important calling, aside from loving the Lord and my husband. This is the role that can show me my sin and areas of growth more than any other. I get to see my sin in myself but also in my kids and pray it doesn’t take root in them. I want my boys to know the Lord more than anything else. I want them to never know life without Him. I want them to know scripture. But since there is no Sunday school or any lessons they hear about the Lord outside of our home, this falls on me. I want to be better about talking about the Lord with them at all times, about anything. I want to be better at teaching Dawson scripture (we are only through G of the alphabet verses). Little by little, we will get there. Another reality is that Brett works a lot, so often I am with the boys alone. This means my house is often messier than I like it. There are often toys all around. Many things are often broken by the boys. There are three boys- they are a little wild at times. Lots of energy floating around. They are often covered in dirt. Though I want to eat all our meals at the table, this doesn’t happen. My goal is just lunch time at the table with the boys (Brett is never home for lunch though I have house help then). I don’t even try at dinner most days. My boys don’t get baths each day like I would like. They don’t wear clothes. I’m happy to have them in their underwear (though I plan to start getting Dawson in shorts as well even around the house). I am trying to get more order in life now, so I do make the boys pick up their toys after room time and one other time of day. I don’t really cook dinner. We have our big meal at lunch and we eat leftovers or something easy at dinner. My boys watch more tv than I like, though it is starting to improve. So these are some of the things that have taken a lot of time to get used to, but I’m ok with them now. This isn’t how it is always going to be, but this is how it is now. Also, I am not crafty and creative. I don’t sit down and create things with the boys. But even when I do try, they aren’t interested. I am glad I have house help. I am so glad. I am thankful I can use them throughout the day. I thankful I can take them on trips like I did for our field forum and we always had another hand around to help. I used to feel like because I used help, I wasn’t a real mother. Or just weak and couldn’t do it by myself. Maybe I could do it by myself, but there is a lot more joy and peace when there is help around. And no, I won’t use a nanny forever or take people on trips to help us with the kids, but it is nice that it is possible right now. This is huge for me to say I am ok with this. This doesn’t make me less of a mom, if anything, it makes me a better mom. No I wouldn’t have this if I was in the States, but if I was in the states and planned to stay there, we probably wouldn’t have had kids so close together (or at least we wouldn’t have tried to). We would have spaced out, but we wanted our kids to be close and have each other. That calls for a little craziness for a few years, esp here where you don’t have the places to go and friends to meet up with and just say you’re having a crazy day. You can’t just run out to Starbucks for a drink or go to Barnes and Noble and sit talking with a friend while your kids play with the trains. Thus, it is nice to have someone around to help.

I am a missionary. I want to be involved with the people. I want to know the language. I want to be a part of the people’s lives. I don’t want to live in my own bubble. I want my kids to be a part of the culture as well. So that means, I work. Dawson goes to school. We have a nanny in the mornings to watch the younger two. I’ve finally learned that this doesn’t make me a bad mother. Just different. I love my boys with all my heart but I don’t want to home school. I want my boys first and foremost to know the Lord and His love for them. I also want them to know that the people we live beside are lost and in need of a Savior. I want my kids to grow up seeing this as their ministry just as it is ours. I want them to be a part of the work here. I want them to be able to translate for visitors when needed, thus, they need to learn the language. I find that highly important.

I am not a prissy girl. Never have been. I never thought this would be a struggle I dealt with here. Never thought I’d have to worry about looking nice and having stylish clothes and a nice house but this actually has been big for me. It wasn’t as much of an issue when I was in the States because I thought I was going to Africa and wouldn’t have these things so it wouldn’t be an issue. But in reality, you can be stylish here, people bring tons of stuff over. Your house can look very cozy and well put together. This is the first time I’ve had a house that we planned to stay in for a long time. Little by little it is getting homier, though it will never be like others. That’s ok. And even if I want in my mind to be cute and wear makeup or whatever, it just isn’t me. I’d rather be comfortable. That’s what will win out in the end. That’s who I am. I am also not good at hosting. I like people to come over, but it stresses me out when it’s a group. It isn’t easy for me. I like people to feel comfortable in my home and let it be theirs but I’m just not a good host. I have seen the gifts the Lord has given to other wives here. They are hosts. They are good at it. Really good at it. And though I used to beat myself up that I wasn’t like that, I’ve just learned to appreciate their gifts and let that be. That’s not my gift and that’s ok. I can just thank the Lord more for them because they have a ministry that I don’t. We are all needed. I don’t need to be like everyone else.

Enough confessions. That’s it. Truly, though, I am thankful for what the Lord has done and how He has taught me and grown me. I am thankful to be here in Mali. I am thankful to be learning who He has created me to be.

A Good Weekend

Ok, this first picture has nothing to do with the weekend, but I've been meaning to post it mainly for my uncle since we've talked about the termites here before and he wanted to see a picture. So here you go, John, this is for you. :) We found this HUGE termite nest as they were digging up our pipes that were clogged. The termites are huge here. These are bigger than ants, maybe slightly smaller than the body of a bee. Yuck.

A lot of times we dread weekends. The kids seem to go crazy and the days are just long. You’ve been up for hours and tried everything you can think of to entertain them and then look at your watch and its 9 am. But this weekend was great and it reminds me that one day I won’t dread long periods alone with the kids. J They are growing up and are great boys. They play well together. I can see the light at the end of the little children tunnel. Kenan has used the same diaper for nighttime this whole week. He so rarely pees at night but it is really me who wants him in a diaper. Actually, he refuses to wear the diaper so he goes to sleep in underwear and I just put a diaper over that before I go to bed. I just don’t want to give them up yet because I don’t want to deal with a wet bed in the morning. But it hit me this week- I am almost down to just one kid in diapers. Wow. And in a year there will be no more pack-n-plays to lug around. The time is going by quickly. But I digress from my original purpose. So this weekend was special. Fun times being with the family. We had tacos for lunch on Saturday. We just received our “food container” which had various items from the States that we ordered. (the whole team can do this- people often get cereals, detergent, canned soups or whatever items you can’t get here or are ridiculously expensive. I never really paid attention until recently but laundry detergent here is around $30 for a box). I had gotten hard taco shells since Dawson fell in love with these while home last year. It is so fun to watch the boys eat them. I don’t know why it thrills my heart to see them eat, but it does. They went to town. Here’s a picture of them sharing the last taco (Dawson’s 5^th and Kenan’s 4^th).

Needless to say, they enjoyed themselves. Then last night we had (homemade) pizza which the boys also love. I feel like I’ve gotten the pattern down how to most quickly make it. We also got a bath tub last night! Woo hoo! We’ve been using buckets since we got here. I had asked about getting a tub but was told the plumbing would be too difficult. Well, recently we moved our washer to the back porch that has just been closed in. (love it, by the way, I can now wash anytime and leave out the clothes to dry which I never did before because the clothes were hanging outside so you couldn’t do a load at night or when it rained or was going to rain). Our friend, Saskia, had this stand up tub that has a drain and everything. It doesn’t have to be connected to anything, it just drains into the shower drain. She said she never used it so she let us have it. I’ve been meaning to pick it up for awhile and just haven’t. Well, we got it yesterday and the boys just loved it! So much fun!! Yeah for a tub! I feel like we are in America now. J So overall, it was a fantastic Saturday

Brett has been a little sick this weekend, though, nothing terrible but we decided not to do church this morning. I was able to go back to sleep once he got up (which is nice since we were up for over an hr in the night because the power went out- just ours, no one else’s so we had to work on that). Then I tried to be creative with the boys. Got out the paints and cut up some foam to make stamps. I always think the boys are going to like things like this but it always fails. It lasted a few minutes, though we got the story of Jonah painted. They just wanted to bubbles which were out for my second activity…which never happened. But alas, I tried. I try every once and awhile and then remember I have boys. But it was fun nonetheless.

As we were eating lunch, Kenan walked outside saying, “here is your cold water, Dawson.” This is how we found him. He enjoys being the big brother. J

Then they were off to play in the mud and in buckets (that we no longer need inside because we have a tub). They found a frog, chased him all over the yard and tormented him royally. They were throwing mud onto his face, trying to cover him in mud much like they spent Friday trying to cover up some crickets. Finally, I told Dawson to stop hurting him so he washed him off with the hose going full force. Sorry frog, I hope you are still living. But if not, at least you know you provided much joy to three little boys.

Now the boys are in rest time and I’m going to take a nap. Then we are off to the pool! Life is good. Thank you, Lord, for a great weekend!

Field Forum 2009

We spent the last week with our whole Mali team in Teriya Bugu. It was a time for business and meetings as well as spiritual refreshment. Though the boys didn't sleep well and the week was tiring, it was an overall good week. Dawson enjoyed getting to play with his friend Ella all week. Here is a picture of our whole team. We're a big group! (About half are in Koutiala working at the hospital and the others are elsewhere).

We took Jeremie with us. He was a lifesaver. Silas stayed with him all the time. It was great to have him there since often the boys all wanted to go different directions so there was an adult for each one.

And this is what happens in the mini hot season of October when the boys have to wear shirts. I actually stopped putting clothes on Silas by the end of the week because his heat rash was so bad. Poor boy was miserable- not to mention he also got another tooth while we were there. Again, YEAH for jeremie! :)

The two biggest things I came away with that the Pastor spoke about was that we will always have agitators in our lives. They are there to show us more of our sin and lead us to Jesus. So rather than get angry and frustrated by them, we need to see how that leads us to the cross. Also, he mentioned a quote from Chuck Swindoll "life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it." So I'm working on that one- trying to make sure my attitude is good regardless of the situation. Wish it were as easy to do as say. I guess another big thing for me was another reminder that my role as mother is my most important job and the way that I can most worship the Lord. A fellow missionary who works with prostitutes and in the prisons in Bamako said as she led worship that her role is no more important than mine and Becky's (another mom with kids) as we sit and watch our little ones crawl around on the floor. It was such a blessing to me. I so enjoy working at the hospital but I have been challenged over and over lately that my boys are my first calling. They are my first priority. It is more important that I care for them and love them and show them Christ than work at the hospital each morning. Since our friend mentioned her comment in the service, I've been quoting to myself "this is my spiritual act of worship" as I care for the boys. I want to see it as worship. To speak love and truth, to be slow to anger, to talk to them about the Lord, I want it to be my worship.

Dawson's first day of school

Today was Dawson's first day of school (yes, I know, it starts late) at the preschool. He was generally excited to go today. He did tell me, however, that he needed a shirt, shorts and underwear in his bag like he had when he went to his old school. I told him he didn't need it though because he was big now and wouldn't pee pee in his pants. He said he did need them because he said "maybe when I pee pee it might go up and get my shirt all wet and then if I go poopy it might go down and then up all over my clothes." Well, at least he is prepared for anything. :)

Here were a few shots before school.

Dawson took pictures with Kenan but was clear with him that he was too small to go to school.

A face trying to look happy.

Almost in the car. I laugh looking at these because he still doesn't have shoes on. We got those on in the car and they came off immediately as he was getting in the car to come home. The clothes at least stayed on until we got all the way home.

So he says his day was bad, but he is willing to go back and I think he had a good time. The teachers are really nice and he is in the same class as his friend Hannah who speaks english. Also, a girl from the Us is flying in today that will be in his class all year as an assistant so that should help a lot. Overall, I am encouraged how the first day went.

He just has to go this week and then we are off to Teriya Bugu for our field forum (where all the CMA missionaries get together for the week). So hopefully it will be a good week for him to get the feel of school but then he can also get a break. We shall see how it goes!

Hodge Podge pictures

Just wanted to post some pictures as of late. They are totally a hodge podge of pictures.

I read this blog nancyrayblog.com. She has this context she is doing to win a session with her and a $100 gift certificate to Target. I started thinking I'd like the photo session so I took some pictures. You had to take them with something of meaning to you so I used a necklace Brett gave me when I had Silas. It's three pearls in a "pod." So it's my three peas in my pod. I love it because it was given to me by my husband and it represents my three precious boys. I don't know that I'm going to even send in the pictures, but I had fun doing them nonetheless.

This was right outside our house the other day. Bad roads with a bad truck and bad driver equals a block in the road.

Just my boys. I was really just trying to get Silas but Dawson stepped in. :)

And this is my boy. Gotta love all the outfits he puts together. He just felt like Mr. Incredible needed a hat. I wish I could have taken a picture today (he wouldn't let me). He was in the Mr. Incredible suit with clothes over it (so he was Bob, not Mr. Incredible) with a bike helmet on because he rode up to the hospital on his bike. (or at least, he was ON his bike. I mostly pulled him on it as I pushed the stroller.)

I mean, if this doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will.

Grandma sent a Bibleman cape. Pretty cool. Kenan got to use it first because Dawson was on a bike ride with Brett when we opened the box. K enjoyed his few moments with the cape. And I love his faithful sidekick beside him.

This boy is still crawling...but he DID take his first step the other day and took a couple today. We are getting there....

Enjoying Daddy's shaving cream.

And since I was looking back at pictures, this is Dawson and Brett in France. I guess Brett had already finished shaving in this picture. I kind of like him with the shaving cream beard too. :)

Ok, that's it. Like I said, random. By the way, I tend to post in groups so this is the last of 4 posts in the last two days in case you missed the others.

1st birthday pictures

I was comparing each of the boy's first birthday pictures. Thought I would share...

I think it is pretty obvious who is who, but it goes in order- Dawson, Kenan, and Silas.