The year in song

Songs were balm for my soul this year. There were many that encouraged me and a few that were so timely, so poignant that my whole body, from the hairs on my head to the tips of my toes, resonated in song. 

The first few months, in the times of pain and confusion, the song, "You have me" by Gungor truly spoke to my heart.

Out on the farthest edge

There in the silence

You were there

My faith was torn to shreds

My heart in the balance

But you were there

Always faithful

Always good

You still have me

You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end

Everything broken

But you were there still

Always faithful

Always good

You still have me

You still have my heart

From April until August I listened to "Oceans" by Hillsong United like a broken record. It was Haven's lullaby, song many times in the wee hours of the night. It gave me strength to continue and courage to do whatever He calls me to, even when it doesn't make sense and the path is treacherous.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

And right before we left, after we received some discouraging news, my dear friend sent me “I shall not want” by Audrey Assad. The first time I heard the words, tears streamed down my face. It was as if my heart had just poured forth the words in song. I knew the words were true. I knew I needed to move forward with going back to Mali. As we were descending into Bamako, I sat quietly in the dark, Haven nestled in my chest asleep, and I listened to this song repeatedly, soft tears flowing this time, as it was the prayer of my heart for the road we were about to embark on. I can say that now, a few months into this journey that He has not left me wanting. There have been some difficult days, days in which I really longed for an ex-pat friend, but the overriding feeling has been gratefulness. I truly have lacked for nothing. He has provided abundantly.

From the love of my own comfort

From the fear of having nothing

From a life of worldly passions

Deliver me O God

From the need to be understood

From the need to accepted

From the fear of being lonely

Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want

When I taste Your goodness I shall not want

When I taste Your goodness I shall not want

From the fear of serving others

From the fear of death or trial

From the fear of humility

Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, no I shall not want

When I taste your goodness I shall not want

No, I shall not want, I shall not want

When I taste your goodness I shall not want.