Yes, I am alive

Between visitors, poor internet, sick kids, and craziness at the hospital (thus no Brett at home), blogging has not been on the list of to do's. But here's some thoughts I've been thinking about the last few weeks. Soon I hope to post pics from the rest of my parent's visit.

I’ve been thinking a lot about rest lately. I guess because I desire to have a lot of it but don’t often get it. It’s not like I go to bed late, it’s just the mornings come early. And every time I try to get up before the boys to make sure I have time with the Lord, they get up earlier. So I get up earlier. Then they get up earlier. So now I’m getting up at 5:30am (or trying to get up) to have time before they are up. But it is hard because I want my sleep. I was reading in this book, “Sacred Marriage” about how when you are single, you can spend hours in prayer and reading. That is your worship to the Lord. That can be when He shapes and molds you. But when you are married with kids, often what shapes your character and walk is the getting up in the middle of the night to help the crying child. It says that “marriage [esp with kids] calls us to an entirely new and selfless life.” I’ve been reflecting on that and how I should see the day in and day out small jobs of taking care of the kids as my worship to the Lord. As Colossians says, whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if you are serving the Lord not men. I need that kind of focus. So one morning as I was up at the crack of dawn, I was praying and somewhat sarcastically saying, “man does not live on sleep alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” But the next day I realized there was nothing sarcastic in this statement at all. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

I love the image of coming to Him and finding rest, rest for my soul. Maybe not the physical rest I’m seeking, but He will give better and more sustaining rest, rest for my soul. I really must decide that His rest is more important than physical rest. I must trust him that even if I’m up in the middle of the night with the boys or if they wake ridiculously early in the morning, if I come to Him, He will give me rest.

Also read today in my Bible a quote from Barbara Johnson:

If we can keep our minds open to the blessings, humor and education in whatever happens to us-if we can set that little invisible radar dish on the top of our heads to constantly search for blessings instead of disasters- our lives will be enriched by the experiences we endure and we can grow from the calamities that fertilze our lives.

I like this quote. It’s really about my attitude. Am I going to choose to be thankful for the day the Lord has given me, regardless of the circumstances, or am I going to choose to complain about the inconveniences?

Since I’m speaking of quotes, I must mention one I read from the Prayer of Hannah blog on being a mom of 4 3 and under.

But I think so many times in life we miss out on the wonderful blessings that God has for us because we allow the god of comfort to slip his way into our lives. Is our life "comfortable" right now at this exact moment. Yes and no. It's extremely comfortable because we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, etc. But, no, it's not comfortable and full of ease the way a mom who has her kids a little more spaced out is right now. But, that wasn't God's plan for our lives. And like I said, his timing is amazing…I love being a mommy to my children because it teaches me to be selfless in ways that I could never have been otherwise. I am a naturally very independent person, and I am much more likely to give you the advice of pick yourself up and get on with it than I am to give you sympathy, so God uses the current ages of my children to remind me to have a heart of service…Oh, how I love my kids. I can't believe how precious they are, how they've taught me so many things, and turned my life into utter blissful chaos. I love it. Yes, others might call us crazy, but we love it - and it's just what God had for our family. There are moments of being overwhelmed, but in general I just remember - "this too shall pass" (thank you Suzi Brummett for those words of wisdom about having twins). The stressors of the moment pale in comparison to the riches of the day. What a joy and a blessing being a mom is.