Starting at the hospital

I started working at the hospital this week. I feel dumb saying "working" because really I'm walking around like a blumbering idiot. I don't know that I do anything but get in the way. My french is totally inadequate (we won't even metion Bambara) and my medical knowledge is ridiculous. Seriously. I was learning how to receive a baby after delivery- a nurse told me to check respirations- I had to stop and think a minute on how to do that! Augh! I can't believe I'm even admitting that. It's been 4 years since I've worked in a medical setting. Crazy. The first day I felt like a preteen girl on her period. I wanted to cry when I saw each patient. A mom had delivered a baby the night before- it was her first baby of I think 6 pregnancies. She had gone into preterm labor with all of them and lost each baby somewhere between 5 and 8 months of pregnancy. She was just beaming with her newborn. She had laid on a bed at the hospital for weeks waiting to have her baby. Losing a baby anywhere is tough- here it's also a social stigma. If a baby dies, people say it's because of the mother. She's not good at it. It's her fault she went into preterm labor, or her body didn't make milk enough to feed her baby, or whatever the cause. It's sad. So that was a happy moment. Then there was this kid who apparently has typhoid fever. He is not comatose, but severely neurologically altered. He just lays there, sometimes with his eyes open, but never really seeing you at all. He was treated before, but with a medication he was resistant to, so now he's here trying to get well. He's in his third week of the illness which is the most crucial stage. Often they can get a hole in their instestines. There was the mom who was in labor and couldn't push the baby out. Her stomach had just looked weird the whole time and though she was 10 cm and ready to push, her contractions were far apart and not doing much. It ended up she had to go have a c-section because they thought (and were correct) that her uterus had ruptured. So they had to tie her tubes. Thankfully it was her third baby but she's still young to have that happen. And then there is the miracle baby who was born at little over 800 grams (1.8 lbs). I cannot believe she is still alive here. Amazing. She had a seizure the other morning. Very often this means that she has bleeding in her brain. We are hoping that is not the case. Only time will tell. But she is so tiny. I just can't believe she's been living this long (a little over 2 weeks). 

Here are some pictures of the little baby. They aren't that great but still it's amazing to see how little she is. And she's living on nothing more than some oxygen and feedings through the nasogastric tube. 

The plan is that I'll start working with the HIV patients who deliver here. There's often just 2-3 women diagnosed each month. I'll work with them with the meds, explaining the illness, encouraging them to go to the main hospital in town that has the medications (the government provides the treatment for free, but it's only given to government hospitals and in not sufficient quantities). I'll also work with a pastor from the hospital that will counsel her and offer his time for her to come and talk to him as needed. HIV stinks. You feel terrible for these women. It's the modern day leprosy. We just hope that we can provide some support for them as they deal with the knowledge of the illness. 

So that's been my week. Completely overwhleming. Feeling totally inadequate in every way you can imagine. Hopefully it will get better!